Anime Farm #6: Kremlin Down

anime farm 6 promo better

The guy bends down to the unfrozen Astuski and Cluckers and says, “Cyka blyat! Wake up, Japanese-American food!”

Astuski and Cluckers then look up to the guy who reveals to be wearing an Adidas tracksuit.

“Hello from the other side, I’m Boris, your below-average everyday Slav,” the guy introduces himself to the chickens.

“Where are we?”, Astuski asked.

“Isn’t it obvious? We’re in Moscow, the heart of Mother Russia!”

Astuski then stops and thinks to himself.

“We need to get to a space center,” Astuski ideaed.

“Sure thing. In Soviet Russia, anything is possible!”, Boris encourages.

The three then hitch a taxi to get to a space center.

Meanwhile, a mysterious white van resided where the taxi stopped to pick up Boris, Astuski, and Cluckers. Inside the van was the Best Western Infidel (Aflac Duck) and Osama bin Laden discussing their next terror attack.

“I don’t want to lose my title as Hide & Seek Champion,” Osama says, “I want you to hit the Kremlin.”

“Aflac,” the Aflac Duck agreed and then gets out of the van with his bullet-proof condom.

Aflac Duck, in a cool closeup shot (if you could visualize it) with some music, swagged towards the entrance of the Kremlin with no one noticing.

The trio then arrive at the Roscosmos space center. They go inside to then let Astuski do the talking.

“I had a dream,” Astuski recalled his hallucination, “I had a dream where Guy Fieri shows up and told Cluckers and I that we have to go to all the planets in the Solar System in a span of 30 days.”

The director of Roscosmos then enforces all of the station’s effort to get the chickens in space.

Back at the Kremlin, Aflac Duck made pass security and meets with Vladimir Putin to supposedly trade TF2 items.

“What do you want, American?”, Putin asked.

“Let’s make a deal. Deal or no deal,” Aflac Duck responds as he shows his stash of hats.

Putin is then astonished at one hat that he saw in the stash, the Ghastly Gibus. He then puts his hands around the Gibus and wears it.

“It’s beautiful,” Putin complimented.

“Right, but you forgot one thing,” Aflac Duck pointed out when he grabbed the Gibus out of Putin’s head.

“This is no hat,” Aflac Duck revealed. He quickly throws the Ghastly Gibus to the ground and then…

BOOM! The entire Kremlin explodes! No one survived but the Aflac Duck himself. He was fine as a fiddle and clean as a bleached anus. The Infidel then walks away casually from the blast.

All of Mother Russia was then shocked that the Kremlin was gone so they grabbed their guns and Babushkas and then hit the streets to kill whoever blew up the Kremlin.

Roscosmos was affected by this too as the stock went down. They now don’t have enough funds for the chickens to get to space.

“Oh no, me money!”, the director worried.

“Sorry, boys, we can’t help you.”

Astuski and Cluckers gasped.

“Oh no! What are we gonna do?”, Cluckers panicked.

“I don’t know, Cluckers. I don’t know,” Astuski replied. “I guess we have to give up.”

The two then walk out of the space center and saw every Russian civilians rioting.

“What’s with all the commotion?”, Astuski questioned.

Astuski then notices in the distance that the Kremlin is gone.

“Holy shit! The Kremlin’s gone!”, Astuski realized.

All of a sudden, the Best Western Infidel emerges up to the chickens from the parking lot of the space center.

“Well, well, well… It’s asshole Cluckers and his friend Astuski,” Aflac Duck greets, “Since you’re here, I want an apology.”

“An apology for what?”, Cluckers asked.


“We’re so sorry!”, Cluckers cried.

“Well that’s not gonna work!”, Aflac Duck responded.

“How’s this?!”, Astuski said sarcastically before shooting the last of the bullets from Mr. Halket’s gun onto Aflac Duck’s head.

The Aflac Duck then drops dead in a heartbeat.

“Aflac,” the Aflac Duck’s last words before he died.

Boris then rushes out to the parking lot where Astuski shot the Aflac Duck. He was disappointed with them.

“Hey, y’all! Come yee, come yee,” Boris drags a nearby mob to crowd around him.

“These fast-food chickens are the ones that you are looking for!”, Boris manipulates the crowd.

The riot mob then knock out Astuski and Cluckers pretty bad and put them in sacks.

It was pitch black for the chickens. Then became silence.

To be continued…


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