BREAKING: Teeter Griffin Dead at 69, Murdered by Urban Dictionary, Causing WWIII

Teeter “Eater” Griffin is reported dead at age 69 by the Quahog Police Department.

Reports say that he was murdered by spies with relations to Urban Dictionary.

President Trump, surprisingly, later brought up Teeter’s death at a press conference.

Urban Dictionary has no right to kill our beloved Teeter Griffin. He was a patriot and a true American hero. We hope to bring Urban Dictionary to justice. – Donald Trump

President Trump later signed an executive order to block all trade between the United States and the homeland of Urban Dictionary. A 200% tax increase was declared on imports from UD to the States. Trump even sent missile strikes over to Urban Dictionary’s HQ which blew up the entire infrastructure.

Trump’s last words at his press conference were, “You can’t run, Urban Dictionary. We’re coming for you. We’ll bomb the shit out of you.”

Urban Dictionary, prior to the missile strike, said not to “take this action seriously.” But it backfired miserablely.

This is will be reflected forever as the most horrifying event in American History since 7/11.

Stay tuned for updates from The Big Scoops as we’re now in WWIII against Urban Dictionary.

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